big conversation, small car

I love an unexpected long conversation while parked in the car.

NPR calls these “driveway moments” – the time you spend lingering in the car, compelled by a story or talk you hear on the radio program and can’t seem to step away from.

After dinner with my boyfriend (we’ll call him J), we got into a heated discussion about the possibility of me moving to San Francisco on my own. This idea alone then led to questions about the steadily approaching “what ifs” – engagement, marriage, settling in a house, etc. With nearly 5 years of dating, these topics have certainly been discussed before. However, there was something scarily “real” about this particular conversation.

What does our timeline look like? How soon do we need to be settled in our careers before we get engaged? When we do get engaged, are we moving in together right away? Is my priority to live on my own first, or is it to wait and move in together? And ultimately, where do we see ourselves creating a life together?

I’m torn between wanting to plan our lives out and just living in the moment. Who really knows what will happen in the next few years? As young adults, any small decision has the potential to morph into a life-changing one. Though J and I aren’t always on the same page, we try to communicate as honestly as possible. At the very least, it’s now on the table and we each know where the other person stands.

No major decisions in this driveway moment tonight.



Filed under relationships

7 responses to “big conversation, small car

  1. your korean bootyfly

    i hate driveway moments…i feel like im never ready for them and for their unexpected results

  2. you just turned 25! Too young to worry about “what ifs” and small decisions becoming life changing! I agree it is good to converse about these topics and I think it’s great you 2 can communicate honestly and put your positions on the table. However, it is impossible to know where another choice would have taken us or what lies at the end of the choice we actually made. All we know is where we are at and hopefully where we want to go. Whatever the choice, I’m sure you two will deal with it together.

  3. my name is TRi

    Sometimes, these little moments are the most precious moments that you can have. Appreciate it because there are plenty of others who don’t have these opportunities. If you’re happy with someone after the first 5 years, i’d say the next 50-60 years shouldn’t be that hard. J is a nice guy, he’ll listen to ya. haha

  4. my name is TRi

    by the way, isn’t your title supposed to be “small car, big conversation”? the way you have it now, i’m expecting to hear something about your little car.

  5. Tri, I will consider dedicating an entry to “Cici, my Civic.” She and I have a fairly complex relationship as well…

  6. Chuck

    I read in a book once that most important decisions in life are made on the toilet, in the shower, and over a meal. Hopefully none of the three are done simultaneously.

  7. my name is TRi

    from personal experience, meal while toiletting is possible, meal in the shower- nope, toiletting in the shower- just ewwwww.

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