breaking the perfectionist

Perfectionism is a cruel trait to have inherited.
It’s a debilitating disease that cleverly disguises itself as being meticulous, competent, and confident.  The desire to always be right and flawless comes from the root of fear.  The fear of failure.
The attempt to write this novel has proven to be an eye opening experience on how perfectionism [...]

one step at a time

Months of training on the track, surprising myself by actually feeling the urge to run, and staying consistent with my pace finally led to completing last week’s San Jose Rock and Roll Half Marathon.
13.1 miles in 2 hours and 42 minutes!  This coming from a person who was NOT A RUNNER until 2009, who struggled [...]

triple milestones

Today J and I celebrate the most momentous milestones, thus far in our lives.
Our engagement, our first home together,  and our upcoming birthdays.
That’s all heavy stuff; I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all three at once.  In just two short, yet eventful, months, both of our lives changed dramatically.
The concept of “milestones” intrigues [...]

focus

I lack it.
This is not to be confused with drive or initiative, which I have plenty of.  But what’s the point of having fuel when you don’t know where to drive the car?
Having “focus” is something that I’ve always struggled with. Either I feel I have too many options, fear that I’m not making [...]

miscommunication

I’ve come to realize that over half of my issues stem from the lurking source of miscommunication. Or lack of communication in its entirety. Or conflicting messages.
And it’s not just my issue; it seems to be an issue of several of my friends, J, family members, colleagues, and acquaintances as well.
We underestimate how [...]

finding a home within a home

So I put off writing an entry explaining my whole San Francisco living situation for some time now.  I don’t even like discussing it in person; it’s almost like trying to explain to people why I had to let go of the “potential love of my life.”  Broken up before anything even got started!
It lasted [...]

the happy list

As the Queen of To-Do Lists, I’ve scrapped all of my never-ending task/project/errands lists and decided last night to create a new type of list. The Happy List.
Pauline’s Happy List:
*WRITE
*WORK-OUT
*PHOTOGRAPHY
*FOOD & DRINKS
*GOOD CONVERSATIONS
*TIME WITH LOVED ONES
*EXPLORE/TRAVEL
*READ
In no particular order with no specific time frame in mind.  These are just continual reminders, with the goal [...]

levels of friendships

My idea of “friendships” has grossly evolved within the past couple of years.
The various levels of friendship in a young professional’s life *please note that friendships in each of these levels can overlap, fluctuate, skip a level, etc:
- the Email/Chat/Facebook/Text friendship, where sadly most of contact and catch-up time is spent with ALL friends
- the [...]

when I grow up…

There’s a great scene in the movie “Love & Basketball” that truly captures how I’ve been feeling lately.
It’s been several years out of college for once childhood sweethearts Monica and Quincy.  They are neighbors and both used to be pro-basketball players until a series of events changed their lives.  Monica has stopped playing basketball and [...]

green light

San Francisco is a go.
I’m not really ready just yet, but I don’t think I can ever be 100% prepared.  Especially since a lot of factors scream NO.  I will be increasing my commute time from 15 minutes to 1 hour 1/2 (at best), I teach a morning class twice a week at SJSU, the [...]