Hawai’i

For the record, going to Hawai’i this week does not mean I get to go on hiatus from my marathon training.

J and I packed up our running shoes (crammed, for me) into our carry-on suitcases.  I’m ready for the hikes to Diamond Head and the Manoa Falls Trail.  Week 1, Week 1 (revisited, because I didn’t feel I gave it a worthy attempt), and Week 2 of training have really elevated my running endurance.  I’d hate to have all of that energy come to a crashing halt when I return; most definitely heavier from all of the shaved ice, spam musubi, kalua pork, baked goodies, and poke sloshing around in my stomach.

I know folks think I’m crazy for wanting to run and be active on our “vacation.”  I think I’m a little crazy that I’m looking forward to it!  After all, if you’re going to be running, what better place in the world to do so than on Waikiki Beach during sunrise?  My thoughts exactly.

Aloha!  I will return with fitness, food, and photography stories!

Week 1

My Training Wheels

Week 1 of my “training” for the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Jose Half Marathon is complete.  Sort of.

It was sometime last month when it dawned on me that I was set to run 13.1 miles in about four months.  More like hit me in a the form of a mini-anxiety attack.  I was not working out consistently ever since my Napa Valley 5k run in March.  When work settled down and the weather grew sunny, I started to picked up running again in May.  It dismayed me to realize that it’s not the same as riding a bike.  If you don’t use it, you lose it.  The collapsing of my lungs and legs by Mile 2 proved it.

So when June rolled around, I was determined to get back in the game.  I had about 15 weeks until October 4th (HM- half marathon day).  I read Runner’s World articles, asked runner friends for advice, and even swallowed my pride to ask J for his guidance.  I was ready to TRAIN.  Sort of.

This past week, I decided to use this marathon training schedule as a guide (shared by a good friend, who btw, is also running this HM with me).  Let’s just say… even Week 1 was a bit too ambitious for my weak and pathetically-out-of-shape self.  Schedule dictates that the weekly total mileage: 13 miles.  My total weekly mileage: a pittance 7.5 miles.  Gah.

J tells me, as he scarfs down Jack in the Box fries and tacos, “Try not to get so discouraged.  Most people think that it should be easy running a certain number just because they did it before.  You have to get used to the fact that you’re going to have to retrain just as hard as before.”

I exhale in agreement and nab a few curly fries.  After eating three, I resist the urge to indulge in more greasy fried foods (whose idea was it anyway to get fast food?  I think J is trying to test me).

Of course, he’s right.  Nothing that’s worth achieving comes easy, especially when it comes to staying physically fit.  I was just hoping it would be less tiring.

Stay tuned for Week 2.

beach

I’m ready for the beach.

Hawai’i in 2 more weeks!!!

Metro

I submitted two photos for this month’s Metro Photography Exhibit in downtown San Jose, where they will display works by local photographers. I figured, why not? For the theme “I Live Here” I chose the following images.

The Beach

My cousin Adam & the shores of Pajaro Dunes

Friendship

two of my favorite booties

Unfortunately, I won’t be in town to attend my own exhibit! If you’ll be in downtown this Friday, I encourage South Bay folks to check out the Friday Night’s Art Walk

I plan on more photogra

No changes yet.  One more day left to decide what to do…

Damnit.

8 p.m.

Sometimes all it takes is a phone call to drastically change your life.

In mine, that call will take place tomorrow at 8:00 p.m.

happy flowers

5 Years and 6 Months Tulips

My first attempt at a self-portrait.

This was a few weeks ago, when J surprised me with flowers on our anniversary.  He signed it ” from your not so secret admirer.”

I love tulips more than roses, to be honest.  I find joy in its simplicity and vibrant color.  A tulip doesn’t need to demand so much attention with a million petals and thorns and leaves.  It’s not so complicated and busy.  It just IS.

If you asked J, he’d say I was more like a rose – pretty but thorny!  Not the most flattering comparision, but I see the truth in it.  I’m really trying to practice living more simply like a Tulip.  I’m starting to see that the more complex and full of choices/decisions, and expectations you clutter your life with, the more difficult it is to be happy.  Whereas, having a simple positive outlook on life and its meaning can work wonders on peace of mind.  Instead of focusing so much on doing the right things to ensure happiness and “perfection” down the road a year or two from now, I try to focus on this moment.  This day.

“Be happy for this moment.  This moment is your life!” – Omar Khayyam

quality control

I have a love/disturbed vibe towards email, text messaging, or social networking as a means of staying connected with friends.

It’s great because it’s so easy to crank out a few lines and zip it on over to someone. The response is also instantaneous. In either exchanging or reading a few paragraphs, a short message, or a facebook status, a person can believe that he/she is caught up with someone’s life. That gnawing guilt over being MIA or out of touch is immediately assuaged by that tiny bit of “connection” no matter how brief the interaction or the size of characters exchanged via the cyberworld.

Not to say I don’t do it. I text, I email, I gchat, I facebook, I Myspace (hardly), and I get LinkedIn. You’d be a pariah not to be somewhat tech-savvy these days. But for the love of humankind, what happened to phone calls and face to face conversations??? Remember the time when you could actually see and hear the person?

This is where I firmly believe that the closest of my friendships, the ones I truly value in keeping, are the ones where the connections are still personal. And I’ve learned to really appreciate the friends who also value quality time and put in that same effort to maintain the relationship. Whether it’s a lengthy phone conversation now and then, catching up over dinner and drinks, planning trips or city outings together, or even working out, my life feels fulfilled. It takes time, definitely. It takes reciprocity – I initiate and they initiate. And it takes effort. But that’s what it takes to build and maintain a relationship.

Yes, technology makes communication easier. But easier doesn’t always mean better.

running

I decided to venture outside for a run this weekend.

Running outside is a nice change from the treadmill. Even though I don’t have the convenience of counting my calories and distance, it forces me to listen to my body. It’s also nice to enjoy the scenery – to feel like I’m running somewhere.

That sunny afternoon, I run past my usual cut-off point and end up at the street where my best friend used to live. On a whim, I decide to veer left so I can run past the exact apartment complex. Instead of brown and cream, the exterior is now painted a light blue. I remember being dropped off at this very spot nearly every Friday night during the summer of my freshman year. Early on Saturday morning, I’d wake up to go to church with her family. Of course, the real reason I begged my mom to have me stay over was so that my friend, G, and I could stay up late giggling over our boyfriends, trying on her newest outfits, and gossiping about mutual acquaintances. I heard so-and-so got caught messing around… is she really running away with her boyfriend…who’s still a virgin…? Things that were of utmost important in a 14 year old girl’s life.

Rejuvenated by my sudden nostalgia, I ran further down towards my former elementary and middle school (attached to the church), where she and I have stayed friends since the 4th grade. I slow my jog down as I peek inside the parking lot. There’s a pang in my stomach when I notice that the rainbow arched bars, my favorite place to sit during recess, is gone. This was the very bar where G & I sat with our other friend, school uniforms and all, for a yearbook photo tagged “Best of Friends.” Only tanbark and a lone monkey bar set are left behind. No one would be able to guess that this place once held memories of where G & I had our first fight in the 5th grade (over a game), where a group of us would lounge on the picnic tables trying on the new “raisin” colored lipstick, or that I cried and sat on the nearby curb the day my 8th grade crush turned me down. In many ways, this was where my theories of life and relationship dynamics were first formed – this very playground.

It’s Saturday afternoon and though I know the church service is long over, I wait around, though I’m not sure for what. I spot my friend’s auntie loading her car with potluck utensils and head over to say hello. She breaks into a smile when she sees me waving. I would hug her, but I’m sweaty in my shorts and blue Ciao Bella t-shirt. We exchange the customary “how are you doing”s and status updates.

“It’s been such a long time since I was last here…” I say wistfully. I’m positive she can’t place the emotion in my voice since she’s not sure how to respond other than to smile and nod. When we part and I turn away, I can’t stop the wave of heaviness. I’m a sentimental person, but I wasn’t expecting this. Nearly thirteen years later, why do seeing all of these old places make me feel so bittersweet? Maybe I wish for those days of simplicity again. Maybe I fear that I’ll easily forget these seemingly insignificant moments, forget about those two little girls. Maybe so much in my life is changing that I’m not quite ready to “grow up.”

As I run back towards my home, I know it’s a mixure of all of the three.

tango

Time for something light and fun amidst the past few months of weighted contemplation.

Santa Maria – Gotan Project.

I wish I could dance like this effortlessly.  I took a tango class when I was in LA and loved it. The funny thing is that I would “think” too much about perfecting the footwork (and thus, screw up) when I should just be “moving” intuitively.  I needed to just trust what felt right for me.

Symbolic?  I think so.